Coping with New Years Holiday Emotions
“What are you doing for New Years Eve?” This question can bring a sense of dread, anxiety, sadness, grief, and a whole mix of other emotions. Like many holidays, New Years may not feel like a celebratory event for you—contrary to all the social media posts where others tout their close friends, family, romantic relationships, resolutions, major life goals and changes...the list goes on. Maybe past New Years have been filled with painful experiences, a stark reminder of how difficult the past year has been. Or, perhaps you want to celebrate the holiday but just don’t have those close connections with other people this year, a fact that highlights your loneliness and isolation.
Whatever the reason, know that you are not alone. Many people struggle to cope with the long, seemingly unending slew of winter holidays, and New Years is no exception. If you find yourself wondering how to get through the next 24 hours, I hope this post will help by giving you some ideas & tools.
IT’S OKAY TO HAVE ALL THE FEELINGS. Literally. All of them. Any of them. Whichever ones. This may seem simple, but with holidays there is always a cultural and societal expectation of how we “should” be feeling or thinking, and it’s good to stop and remember that however you feel and think are OK.
IT’S ALSO OK TO WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. Feeling contradictory emotions? Hate the holiday and think New Year resolutions are stupid, but also secretly wish you were spending it doing something special? That’s OK too! All feelings are welcome here.
IT’S DEFINITELY OK TO FEEL SAD. I know, I said New Years without (too many) tears, but it’s actually 100% okay if you spend most of it crying. Even if you don’t believe in setting resolutions or assign any particular meaning to the holiday, the end of a year naturally brings a sense of reflection and evaluation. Sometimes that might include things you feel sad about.
Ok so you’re on board with letting your feelings be whatever they are...now what? How do you cope with those emotions so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed by them?
Channel your feelings into a creative outlet. Lean into the urge to reflect and evaluate. Write down all of the things that happened this year that you are grateful for—not because they were pleasant, positive, or easy, but because of what you learned from them or how they helped you grow as a human. If that doesn’t fit, make a list of all the things you would like to be different about next year. Make a drawing or paint some abstract watercolors of how you feel about the last year. Create a playlist with half of the songs how you feel about last year and half of the songs how you want to feel about next year. Open the door at midnight and scream loudly into the night. Do whatever your heart of hearts tells you it needs.
Do something that feels meaningful to you. If the holiday is important to you, honor that. Maybe you don’t have all of the pieces you want in order to make it the “right” or “best” way of celebrating, so focus on what you can do. Take yourself out to a movie (or two) you’ve been wanting to see. Pick a favorite or special food and plan to cook & enjoy it for yourself. Order takeout and binge watch one of your favorite shows. Write a letter to a close friend about why you’re grateful to have them in your life and why you look forward to next year with them.
Reach out to others for help. Again, you are not alone in your feelings about the New Year, whatever they may be. If you’re feeling a certain emotion, chances are someone else is too. Text a friend, post on your favorite Internet forum, find a Spotify playlist, go to your local community gathering place, or call your local crisis line (1-800-273-8255 in the U.S. or text “MN” to 741741) if you just need to hear another human’s voice.
As with any holiday, New Years can be a challenging time of year and it’s okay to acknowledge that and attend to what you need to survive it. Remember, this too shall pass.
Struggling with emotions throughout the year? Our therapists would love to help you understand your emotions better and learn coping skills to make things feel more manageable and less out of control in your daily life. Contact us now for a free phone consultation to learn how we can help.